The Crazy Train

Mars conjunct Uranus. The Daredevil Combination. Manic Energy. People with this combination include:  Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Ricky Gervais, Robert Downy Jr., Johnny Depp, Clint Eastwood, Lucy Liu, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

For me, this combo is an endless source of pride and frustration. On the one hand, this combo gives me the passion and drive (Mars) to express (Leo House) my deepest thoughts and desires (Scorpio cusp) and philosophical standpoints (Sagittarius) and to own them without necessary imposing them on others (Uranus). I also attribute to this combo my ability to do things other people call brave without really thinking much about it, because I was in pursuit of something bigger – joining the Army during a time of war, joining the convoy security team and the QRF (Quick Reaction Force) team, studying abroad in Korea and bringing my 3-year-old son with me, walking alone at night (if I lost you there, that’s not really something women are supposed to do and many don’t). It’s probably also where I get my diverse taste in people and activities, including my sexual tastes (again Scorpio on the cusp and Sagittarius is known as the try-sexual sign).

On the other hand, some of the stuff above could be termed reckless. My Sun and Mercury are conjunct in Virgo in the 2nd House, which generally means I’m not into particularly risky things. I like to think things through and analyze the situation. But everything I described above didn’t feel reckless or risky when I was doing them. They felt natural.

I’ve mentioned before that maybe I don’t always make the best decisions in my love life. It probably comes down to impulse control. Funnily enough, I (generally) have pretty good impulse control in a lot of things: home, finances, work, shopping, homework…. but when it comes to school (and 5th House can represent your formal higher education – high school and early college), creative endeavors, and romance/sex…. I’m weird about that stuff. Both planets are energetic, independent, and somewhat impulsive.

Creativity:

butterfly pillow
It’s seen some wear and tear since 2010, but it’s still kicking. I used a suede pillow case and gold ribbon.

I will spend $50-100 at a craft or fabric store for supplies to make things I have every intention of making, usually by learning something I’ve never done before – it’ll sit in a bin forever or, maybe, I’ll do bits and pieces every so often. It took me years to complete a cross stitch butterfly and make it into a pillow. I did about 50% of it on the plane over to Kuwait my first deployment, picked it up now and again to do bits while deployed, let it sit in my packed up stuff for about 7 years, then finally finished it when I moved to La Crosse. I have a purse I’m crocheting for my best friend….. eventually. It’s about 2/3 done and I haven’t worked on it in almost a year. I have about 7 canvases waiting to be painted – I know what I want to paint, I have the stuff… just haven’t started… cuz, well, it’s work. And I want to get it right.

I have this amazing idea for personalized emergency spa kits for Christmas gifts…. I’ve had this idea for 3 years and the only reason I don’t have all the stuff for it is because I’ve managed to remind myself that I have about 6000 other projects and why would this one be any different? And I still have to stay out of certain aisles at Michael’s, so I don’t walk out with all the stuff. Seriously, last year I had a basket full of the supplies and I literally had to set it down and flee the store. I never do that – I always put back what I don’t intend to buy, but I knew if I didn’t leave right then, I would buy all the supplies at a time when I really couldn’t afford it.

Sexuality:

Cut out pin up

Both Mars and Uranus are about putting yourself out there in different ways – Mars does it through physicality, either putting your body in harm’s way or pursuing what you desire; Uranus does it through mentality, specifically on a spiritual and collective level by, more or less, owning your weird. I am very likely to approach the people I am interested in and not to feel personally affronted if they aren’t into me that way. I am much less comfortable the other way around.

My sense of romance is off beat and detached. I’m not a flowers and jewelry kind of girl. The sexiest things you can do are 1) show me something you’re intensely interested in but makes you feel vulnerable sharing, and 2) bring things to my attention you think I would be interested in because you’ve taken the time to get to know me. Nothing ignites my passion faster. That being said, most of the time, my interest doesn’t last long. I’ve had more than a few times where I’ve had a really electric energy with someone and an intense curiosity and, once that has been explored a bit, it’s gone and I’m just done with the relationship or experience. More often than not, I become more detached through physical experiences. The only way to keep me interested is to keep my mind engaged.

Education:

Sooooo….. I have a bachelors. Not too impressive, except that I got it while raising a child as a single mother and working a lot at the same time. But I love to learn and to go deep with it (that freaking Scorpio and Sag combo again). I love higher learning, philosophy, psychology, sociology, history, politics (I also hate politics), languages, cultures, physiology, biology, scientific inquiry and systems.  I have a knack for spotting patterns and making connections between the different subjects I’m learning. I’m not super into math, but taking Statistics was interesting because it applied to philosophy (Normal is only normal because it’s average and everything averages out eventually – it’s actually a Law in math).  

Running inside a brainThe problem with this is I have too many interests, I can see how things are connected and so I want to learn all the tangential stuff, too, and I don’t have a lot of time. For most of my college career, I had a double major and a double minor, and I still took classes that didn’t apply to any of them. Like Introduction to Computer Programming (I already had the math credits and an overabundance on the language credits). The semester before I graduated, at a meeting to discuss Student Teaching, I realized I was not going to be able to finish the Eds portion of my degree due to money (not schooling itself – living expenses, travel expenses, and the fact that you really can’t work during student teaching, especially if you have other responsibilities).

I dealt with this (after an internal rant on socioeconomic status vs education – a nice Mars-Uranus blend actually, and a candid conversation with the Dean of the School of Education) by looking at my options, reminding myself that having the Education portion of my English Ed degree wasn’t imperative for teaching abroad, and realizing I could graduate next semester if I switched to English: Writing and Rhetoric. And it’s a good thing I did that, because even cutting my 2 semesters down to 1 semester, I graduated with 159 credits. Had I done things differently, I would be 1 credit off a Masters. Also, had I continued on my then educational path, I would have run up against the school’s 160 credit rule and my tuition would have gone way up. Funny that none of my advisers noticed this.

Driving Ms. Crazy:

All in all, I don’t know that this is something that I’ll ever really have under control. It’s not an “in-control” combination. But, that being said, I think I can work with it. Since I have a lot going on here and the planets have a lot going on, one of the suggestions for balancing this energy is to incorporate energy from the House opposite, in this case, the 11th House, ruled by Aquarius. I see this as looking at my self-expression and creativity in terms of community needs, not just my own. Fortunately, social justice is a passion of mine. I’m hoping here soon, when I tone down my work life, I can really start to get more involved in my community and turn my creative pursuits toward that.

Also, several astrologers recommended physical exercise, specifically yoga or martial arts. I’ve been wanting to do that for quite some time, so I want to get a regular class in one of those areas in my routine, which will be perfect to do as part of my 6th House – the House of Health and Daily Routine.

Other than that, I’ll keep you posted on any crazy developments.

Author: saharanstarshadow

I'm a mother, a workaholic, a veteran, a pagan, and a queer woman. I have spent the last 18 months in therapy for MST and PTSD and have decided to spend the next year on my spiritual journey.

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