The Summer Solstice recently passed, leaving me in a state of reflection. Astrologically, this day marks the passage of the Sun into Cancer, which I find interesting as Cancer is ruled by the Moon. All the other solar festival placements make sense to me:
- Spring Equinox – Aries, ruled by Mars: Everything is waking up and aggressively looking for resources after the scarce winter.
- Autumn Equinox – Libra, ruled by Venus or Ceres: The Sign of the Scales already speaks to the equal nature of night to day in an Equinox and, depending on the ruler you pick (astrologers differ), we’re looking Venus, a receptive planets as the Earth starts her final stage of harvesting and prepares for winter, or Ceres, a harvest deity.
- Winter Solstice – Capricorn, ruled by Saturn: Saturn was once considered the outer reach of our solar system and is one of the coldest planets, Capricorn reflects the winter hardy qualities of hard work, discipline, ambition, and a reserved nature.
One would think that the Sun would rule the day where the Sun stays longest in the sky and that the Sign ruled by the Moon would be in place during the longest night. Like the star chart should be flipped and the darkest part of your chart is not during the brightest time of year (granted, I know it isn’t everywhere, but it was in the place tropical astrology developed).
But, when I really think about it, the Moon reflects the Sun and the Sun represents the Ego. In terms of personality in astrology, we look at the Sun, the Moon, and the Ascendant. As the Ascendant is our projection of ourselves, which we often tailor to the specific people we are projecting to (ourselves included), this intersection of just the Sun and the Moon represents who we are at the most basic levels – the Ego, telling us what we need to nurture in ourselves to grow, and the Spirit, telling us what we need to nurture in our relationships to grow. The Sun is our need for individuality, the Moon is our need for connection.
If Leo or Aries were in this position at the height of the Sun’s power, the Ego would be overwhelming. Here Cancer reminds us that, even at the height of personal abundance, we need to nurture our relationships with the Earth and the people in our lives or that abundance will be short lived. Immediately the days begin to shorten and, while it is easy to forget that winter is coming, it will, inevitably, come.
There are many lessons one can glean from this. Share your abundance. Remember your relationships. Everyone has an individual lesson they can take away. The one that I am working on incorporating is remembering that our connections are brighter when we are at our brightest. Yes, coming back to that same old self care, but it’s a lesson that I am thick headed about.
This blog has been derailed by an insensitive comment overheard on a five minute conversation with my ex. I’m bringing it up because it’s messing with me finishing my post, it pissed me off good and proper, and it is illustrative of some of the issues you run into while trying to do self care.
The situation: My little boy is 9 today! Celebration is only partially planned because someone isn’t great with communication and I finally gave up several years ago on trying to make that a thing that happens. It’s a lot of ineffectual work on my end (see, self care happens sometimes). The plan is still a little up in the air, but an ending time of 7-8 was suggested to which I said, “Ok, but then I will need to leave for a bit to get some things done.” To make a long story short, some things were said that make it clear that they believe me leaving during this time is just so rude.
And if this had been the first time what I do with my time had been commented on, I’d let it go as a one off. But it’s every time that I ask if they would take him for anything non-work related or -family related (which is really rare – maybe twice in the last 2 years) and sometimes when it’s actually their time to have him, but I’m not going to work, which happened the week before last. The implication is that the only acceptable reasons for me to be away from my child is work or a downer family event. It’s just a little extra social and emotional crap to deal with when it’s already hard for me to take time off for self care, which, much as I love my little boy, being with him does not qualify as self care. It’s hard enough to remind myself that I am allowed to take a day off and to use that day for fun and relaxation without being told that I’m really not allowed and I need to justify the use of my free time.
So, I was planning on spending some of that free time on practical things, but instead I am going to do some guided self love meditation and relax. I’m going to do my best to feed my soul, so I have the energy to not be destructive to some of the above mentioned relationships. I’m going to try to be active about this for the week and come back to partnerships later on. What can I say? I’m a work in progress.